MOVIE REVIEW : BILLU (BARBER)

MOVIE NAME:BILLU BARBER
STAR CAST: SRK
IRFAN KHAN (Billu)
,Lara Dutta (Wife of Billu)
Billu’s children
Supporting cast (The usual Priyadarshan troupe)
Dancers (Priyanka , Deepika,Kareena and so on)

A story i have heard from grandma
Of krishna and his friend Sudama
A night time story telling session which is grannie's ritual
Is now being taken over by Bollywood? I hope it does not become habitual!

So so if we do a FastForward now to the silver screen
(Billu barber Verdict-Neither here nor there but something in between.)

Once upon a time ,the date is unknown..
Stood a village in India, in the northern zone,
Could be easily mistaken for a bollywood set
(Perhaps a reject from Jab We Met)
Green fields ,wide rivers and mountains brown
(Come here if you are recovering from a nervous breakdown)
The village also boasted of a commercial space,
Where all trades flourished at their own pace
It spread across at least an acre
with the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker

It also had 2 barber shops
(In one of which our protagonist Billu sits and chops)
Business was slack, just here n there a trim,
Everyday was recession, the situation was grim

If this wasn't all he had a nag for a wife,
AND 2 kids and they were after his life.
She kept on and on about how life was lowly,
Never mind her washboard abs or Manish Malhotra designer choli.
But a man with his self respect can never his pride pawn,
And sigh yaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnn...life goes on.

Now, the people in the village had a strange vice,
It was neither the races nor a game of dice.
They faithfully caught every flick of King Khan,
ALL walls bore His posters, albeit splattered with paan.
(And those of us who love Him, and i know who all ;)
He has 10 item numbers in this movie, so you're gonna have a ball)

So when He announces he wants to shoot in rural setting
We know it's THIS village ha ha and no one's betting!

Alas now life is not the same for our local zero,
(Am talking of Billu, SRK is the movie's hero)
For it seems that the two were best pals before the Khan's starry rise,
No No just good friends, though one would be tempted to think otherwise.

SUCH a scoop! But Billu keeps mum,
He could have made hay, but he does not succumb.
"HE is the ocean and i am but a drop",
This does not keep his family from shouting it from the roof top
Word spreads like wildfire and rumours are rife
Thanks to his 2 children and his supermodel wife.

For someone who was treated like a stray dog,
Now the letters are reversed, Billu is God.

SRK arrives in the village admist Z category security and much fan fare
(Beats me why Priyadarshan makes the villagers throw blank papers in the air)

Now the pressure is on
The whole village wants to meet the DON

And so our Billu starts to feel the heat
They catch him in his shop, they tear his clothes on the street.

"We have trekked from wide and afar"
And SRK IS after all your chaddi-yaar
Intro nahi diya to mei mar jaunga
Bhagwan na sahi, mei tera bhala kar jaunga"

We do see a rather half hearted attempt,
And one that fills Billu with self contempt.
To touch base with the King of Khans without playing further games
(BTW King of Khans is what the back of SRK's jacket proclaims)

Alas Billu fails to contact the Khan and that's bad news
It is as if all hell is let lose
And when it comes to depicting hell,Priyadarshan is a master of his art,
Don't believe me? It;s there in all his movies..just catch the last part.
(Clothes are ripped off , furniture is broken
People run helter skelter, nonsense dialogues are spoken)

Ah the masses are cruel whether it's real or reel
They raise you, they drop you , they crush you under their heel

And so we assume that the Khan will never know
That this very village houses his friend of yore

Or ...does he really know him -is he really his friend???
This is what made ME watch the movie till the end!!!!!!!!

In case through the course of the movie your patience diminishs, Mail me at manorama.ukidve@gmail.com, I'll tell you how it finishes!!!

Cheers!
(No this is not the outcome of a bottle of wine,
Rather , a whackonthehead from a friend of mine)~